"Lots of people have sisters. I just happen to have a cyst-turd."

"Is the garlic toast done yet, hon?"

"Wow, is it ever. One of them looks delectable, and the other one is just plain perfect."



Where did my parents find this preternaturally cheerful little boy?!

Another email:

If you can read this, you have x-ray vision!!

- Kevin

inbox

You have one new email.

From Kevin Titan:

Pretty people think
Lice always
Eat during or
After boredom of
Sitting down
Enviously.

Red is
Equal to
Pie and
Little bees are
Yellow.

Think Down!

"Look at this plane I just designed. I call it the CARRIEr, because it has great aerodynamics, but it doesn't go very fast. Wait, actually, you don't have great aerodynamics. Never mind."

in the future, I'm gonna call you special-K and you're gonna call me ecsta-C. I'd do it now except you wouldn't get the references. Thank god.

Mom: "Was the restaurant crowded last night?"
K: "Oh, goodness! If there wasn't someone walking in the doors, the phone would be ringing!"