"CARRIE CARRIE CARRIE CARRIE CARRIE CARRIE!!!"

Kevin must be in serious trouble. He's screaming at the top of his lungs. Did he trip? Is he bleeding? I drop everything and run out of my room to check on him.

"Kevin! What's the matter?"
"Oh, not you. I was just trying to teach Phoebe how to talk."

We have neighbors. Kevin enjoys playing with them.

"Well, we have this rule called Swish. That's where the basketball doesn't touch the backboard at all. It's all net, man! So that's two points each."
"Did you get a lot of Swish points?"
"34!"
"Wow, you got 34 points?"
"Nah. That was just swish points. I also got 20 regular points."
"54! Nice! How'd Cheyne and Steven do?"
"They had 3, combined, I think. Or 4 or something little like that."

I never though I'd say this, but Kevin's absolutely a giant compared to Cheyne and Steven. He towers over them. I'm not sure if it's ethical to allow him to continue playing - and dominating, man! - with them, but they seem to enjoy it, I guess.

Need a good all purpose phrase? Something that can be used when you win at bingo, or find a coin on the ground, or manage to nail your big sister in the head with a wasp? Try this on for size:

"TODAY MUST BE MY LUCKY DAY!!!"

"You know what I just realized? Your name rhymes with hairy and scary. My name rhymes with Heaven. Wow, Mom and Dad sure did a good job naming us!"

Kevin went to Curriculum Night for his new middle school this past Monday. What'd he think?

"Well there were other kids and teachers and stuff, but Carrie! The trashcans weren't big enough for me to fit, so I won't get shoved down them! What a good sign."

"So you're planning on just standing there for the next four hours? I hope I'm not that lame when I'm in high school. Also this music is stupid and too loud."

All undeniable. The IB Ball failed to impress Kevin.

Kevin enjoys my new phone far more than I do, thanks in large part to Brick Breaker.

"Nooooo! What's happening? What the freak?! That's the cheapest thing ever! I hate this game!!! --- Just kidding. I'm actually doing fine. I just wanted to make some exciting commentary. Indestructible, that is my name!"