"My science teacher is amazing at telling stories! She's nearly as good as you!"

Man, biggest compliment of my life? Probably.

"Sometimes when I'm bored, I like to high five the wind."

On my new (remarkably unflattering) haircut:

"Wow, I didn't think you could get any uglier. Guess I was wrong."

"You started screaming really loudly in the middle of the night yesterday. I searched the Internet to see whether screaming is a sign of puberty, but I didn't find anything. "

When I go off to college, Kevin's gonna have to deal with Mum going through menopause, by himself. Teheheh.

"I think I am probably the most miserable little boy on Earth tonight. Please just leave me alone."