I love it when Kevin begins stories with "Remember back when I was small?"

Get it? It's funny because he's still so small.

When Kevin was in first grade, a kid named D'Darius pushed him down on the playground. He came home with his tummy all bandaged up.

He currently weighs 60 pounds. He's going to middle school next year. He doesn't believe me when I warn him that he'll be stuffed down trash cans.

*after Conversation No. 144633 about colleges at the Titan's dinner table:

"Why don't we just move to Massachusetts? Then Carrie would be zoned for Harvard, right?"

"Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe,
I love you.
You're so obese,
and I am, ... Oh, crap."

Carrie: Hey Mom, I need to go to an ateam tournament tomorrow.
Kevin: MORE LIKE B TEAM AMIRITE?

Fun fact: Kevs cried when we went to watch Where the Wild Things Are. He said it was because Claire was being so mean to her little brother Max and she played with her friends and ignored him completely. And this reminded him of Real Life a lot.

I felt crummy.

Welcome!

This blog is going to be a compilation of LITTLE MONSTER'S GREATEST HITS!

Yeah, I'm excited too.

This is all secretive and stuff. So when I leave for college, I'll tell him about this.

And first, he will be pissed off, because I chose embarrassing photos of him for the header. [But that's what big sisters are for!]

Then, he will celebrate being an only child!1!!1

Then, he will actually read this and be sad and miss me. He might even cry a little. Probably not, though.

Then, he will go on with his life as a seventh grader.

And in the meantime, you kids can all enjoy. Good times, I assure you.